The various myths of Lilith fascinates me on so many levels, I should have dedicated an entire blog post to her. But I won’t, at least not today. In stead I want to write a little about my yet-to-finish view upon ‘darkness’, my own darkness that is.
When I look upon the myths of Lilith, I can’t help but wondering how they would sound from the perspective of the demons themselves. Don’t get me wrong here, I would hold on to the… ehm… unethical activities they were attributed, but I’d like to gain knowledge about the driving force, so to speak.
I do not believe in evil as phenomenon. There are actions with cruel consequences, and there are actions deliberately taken to inflict pain and misery upon others. (Hey, most children who’ve seen their parents go through a bad divorce will recognize this.) I just do not believe it to be an act of evil. It is a fear of loosing control, or a compensation, or a loss of direction… This kind of madness happens, when we lack mental, emotional or physical balance.
Darkness could be seen differently.
I cannot know what it contains, because I have never entered it. I am still standing at the border of enlightened path, tripping to get closer but unwilling to surrender to the unknown. I am tripping! Because, I cannot claim to know my darkness, when I have only experienced it to be an apparent lack of light. I wonder, if it looks differently, if it is sensed differently, logically and ethically correct, when it is observed from its own core?
My core, to be exact. Sometimes I do take the myths as they might have been intended. Informing about an unknown drive, which can only be explained by its differentiated values from the god created mankind. I could be a descendant from a demon, who knows? It is an exciting and challenging thought to play with.
When I look upon my own inner worlds, there is an area I have yet to explore. There are many, I am sure, but this darkness needs understanding. I think, I am much more cynical than I let myself believe. I think, I am stronger than I let other people believe. I think I need to understand.
